


Pranks

by alixcat



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, fan child, fan child Una, in which essek underestimates how much beau and jester want to mess with caleb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:07:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24859660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alixcat/pseuds/alixcat
Summary: Essek encourages some fun family time, but little Una may have some help he wasn't expecting...
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 2
Kudos: 75





	Pranks

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a gift and then evolved into a completely separate story from what I intended, so I just rewrote it to be its own thing. Hope you enjoy!  
> [Una is a fan child from the Essek chat and I love her with my entire soul]

It had been a stressful day for Essek. Nothing like dealing with annoyed den members and insolent neighbors to round off a straight 12 hours of work that started at 4 in the morning. 

Caleb was relaxing in one of the lounge chairs in the sitting room, his spellbook open on his lap. “Una has been begging for us to have a tea party tonight.”

“Oh, has she?” Essek put his coat and bags down on their respective hangers near the doorway before making his way over to join Caleb.

Looking up, he gave his husband a quick kiss on the cheek. “She has indeed. Her Uncle Cad gave her a new tea set today, but I said it would have to wait until you were home.”

“Speaking of the little one, where has she run off to? Essek looked around the vicinity, trying to locate their little ball of chaos. 

“Riiiight here!” Appearing out of literally nowhere, Una launched herself onto Essek, causing him to stumble back a few steps. “Papa was showing me one of the spells he knows and then I told him that Auntie Veth told me Auntie Jessie would be happy if we played more pranks on you.”

“Did she now?” Essek gave Caleb a curious look. “Well, what do you think Auntie Jessie would say about us playing a prank on your Papa?” 

“I think,” Una said with a mischievous grin. “That would make Auntie Jessie _and_ Auntie Beau happy.”

“I think so, too.” With a wave of a hand, a puff of gold dust, and a series of arcane symbols, a spell was released. 

“You didn’t.” Caleb face grew serious. “Did you-“

“Cast Immovable Object on your coat? Yes.” Essek picked up Una and ruffled her hair. “Do you want to go call Auntie Jessie on the Stone and tell her about your pranks? Maybe come up with something fun to do while Papa is busy?”

With a nod and a giggle, Una dashed off to the other room.

“You. Are. The. Worst.”

“Why didn’t you Counterspell me? Or cast Dispel right now?” Essek knew the answer, of course, but he was having fun. 

“I didn’t prepare them today because I _thought_ I’d be having a nice relaxing day with my family.”

“You lived your life on the run or out on the road for over 10 years and you don’t even prepare one of those two? Come on, Widogast.” Essek could hear Una’s footsteps approaching, as well as two other sets. _Did they really-_

As if on cue, Jester and Beau came running into the room, three large bags in each hand. 

“Are. you. kidding. me.” Caleb’s face was doused in regret. Turning back to his husband, his voice changed to pleading. “Essek. _Please_.”

“Have faith.” Esssk winked before turning to face their guests. “Hello, Beau, Je-“

“Not now, Essek. We only have 52 minutes left and we plan to make it _count_.” Beau pushed aside the Drow and made her way to the helpless human. “Jester?”

“Hiessskwe’llbedonesoonipromiseeee!” Jester rushed past, giving him a small pat on the shoulder as she did so. 

Una was skipping along, following in their footsteps with her own small assortment of trinkets. “Ok, Papa, _smileeee_!”

“This may be a bit more than I was anticipating, but let’s see how this goes.” Essek settled back to admire what was about to happen.

Ten minutes of shenanigans later, Caleb had ranted off about thirty different Zemnian curses, had attempted to cast something four different times, and had pleaded with Una on at least five occasions.

The very disgruntled Caleb was currently struggling against Jester’s grip as she attempted to paint on his left cheek. Glaring Beau down as she watched from nearby, he switched over to Undercommon. “ _I will fucking murder you._ ”

“Caleb! Not in front of the child!” Beau let out a snicker as she watched on. “Besides, Una’s having fun. Right, nugget?”

“Yes, ma’am!” Una called out from behind the chair where she was braiding Caleb’s hair, her tone matter-of-fact as if there was nothing else more fun to be doing. 

“Una, dear, why don’t you come get a good look at your masterpiece?” Essek picked the small girl up and held her a bit aways from the trio. Lowering his voice he whispered into her ear. “Do you think we should play a prank on Auntie Beau and Jessie too?”

“Mhm!” Una gave a curt nod. 

“Perfect. Get ready to watch.” Turning his attention back to the chaos, Essek raised his voice enough to be heard over the commotion. “Get ready!” And with a snap of his fingers, he dropped Immovable Object.

“Oh no. RUN!” Jester grabbed Beau’s wrist and made a beeline for the entryway, the mess of Caleb chasing after them. 

“You think they’re having fun?” Una’s head tilted quizzically towards where the noises of the three could easily be heard.

“Oh, I think they’re going to have a lot of fun. Why don’t you help me make this all nice for Papa? That way we can still have your tea party before bed.” 

“Okie dokie, artichokie!” Una skipped off and started putting things away. 


End file.
